ScratchBang Privacy Policy

1. Introduction

Well hello again. By now, you’ve read our Terms of Service. If you have not, return there immediately. Being on our website is verboten without reading both the Terms of Service and this Privacy Policy, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking of doing such a thing. Done reading? Awesome! Let’s talk about your privacy.

2. Definitions

Remember this section? You should, because you have read our Terms of Service! Throughout this document, we may use certain words or phrases, and it is important that you understand the meaning of them. We know that you probably do understand them because they’re simple, but some big fancy city lawyer told us to include this section anyway. The following is a non-exhaustive list of definitions of words and phrases found in this document:

  • “ScratchBang” refers to our company, known as “ScratchBang Project LLC”; our Site; our Service; or a combination of all or some of the preceding definitions, depending on the context in which the word is used;
  • “Service” refers to the services that we provide through our Site, including our Site itself;
  • “Site” refers to our website,;
  • “The” means “the” (we have no idea why our lawyers wanted to put this in here);
  • “User” refers to anyone who uses our Service, including general visitors to our Site;
  • “You” refers to you, the person who is governed by this Privacy Policy.

3. Information Collected

Identifying Information

We collect certain personal information from you when you sign up to our Service that can be used to identify you, such as your name, e-mail address, PayPal address (if different from e-mail address), mailing address, date of birth, unique device ID, telephone number, mobile carrier, blood type, astrological sign, list of favorite late 19th century Impressionist painters, and any other information that we deem necessary for the purpose of providing you with our Service or which you provide to us voluntarily. The information we collect from you, to the extent that it is private, is disclosed only in accordance with our Terms of Service and/or this Privacy Policy.

Non-Identifying Information

Whenever you visit our Site, we may collect non-identifying information from you, such as your IP address, referring URL, browser, operating system, cookie information, and Internet Service Provider. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, this information alone cannot usually be used to identify you.

4. Use of Your Information

We may use your information to:

  • Enhance or improve User experience, our Site, or our Service.
  • Process transactions.
  • Send e-mails about our Site or respond to inquiries.
  • Send e-mails and updates about ScratchBang, including our electronic newsletter and updates about amended legal documents such as this Privacy Policy and our Terms of Service.
  • Identify you and prevent fraud.
  • Give to the National Secur—er, we mean, nothing. Nothing at all.
  • Perform any other function that we believe in good faith is necessary to protect the security or proper functioning of our Site or Service.

5. Accessing, Editing, and Removing Your Information

Users may in some cases be able to review and edit the personal information they have provided to us by logging into your account on the Site and editing their account. Although most changes may occur immediately, information may still be stored in a web browser’s cache. We take no responsibility for stored information in your cache, or in other devices that may store information, and disclaim all liability of such. In addition, we may, from time to time, retain residual information about you in our backup and/or database. Please don’t post anything online that would make your boss fire you or your mother cry if they saw it, because we can’t guarantee that someone won’t copy your info and post it elsewhere without our permission.

6. Cookies

We use cookies to remember your preferences and remember your shopping cart items. We also allow third party cookies to be used on our Site. We also use them to leave out for Santa so he doesn’t leave coal or human feces in our stockings when he comes back next year… come to think of it, we’re not sure that was Santa. For these reasons, it is necessary that you enable cookies in your browser, and you hereby acknowledge that we have informed you of our use of cookies and that you consent to our use of cookies in relation to your computer system.

7. Third Party Websites

ScratchBang may post links to third party websites on its Site. These third party websites are not screened for privacy or security issues by ScratchBang, and you release us from any liability for the conduct of these third party websites.

Please be aware that this Privacy Policy, and any other policies in place, in addition to any amendments, does not create rights enforceable by third parties or require disclosure of any personal information relating to members of the Service or Site. ScratchBang bears no responsibility for the information collected or used by any advertiser or third party website. Please review the privacy policy and terms of service for each site you visit through third party links. If the other website claims to be run by a Nigerian prince who is going to give you 27.3 million dollars if you provide him with a copy of every piece of ID you own and your Social Security Number, you may wish to exercise caution.

8. Third Party Access to Your Information

Although you are entering into an Agreement with ScratchBang to disclose your information to us, we do use third party individuals and organizations to assist us, including contractors, subcontractors, quasi-contractors, pseudo-contractors, super-contractors, and contractor contractors, as well as other parties.

Throughout the course of our provision of our Service to you, we may delegate our authority to collect, access, use, and disseminate your information. For example, our web host stores the information that you provide us, and we may hire outside contractors to perform maintenance or assist us in securing our Site.

It is therefore necessary that you grant the third parties we may use in the course of our business the same rights that you afford us under this Privacy Policy. For this reason, you hereby agree that for every authorization which you grant to us in this Privacy Policy, you also grant to any third party that we may hire, contract, or otherwise retain the services of for the purpose of operating, maintaining, repairing, or otherwise improving or preserving our website or its underlying files or systems. You agree not to hold us liable for the actions of any of these third parties, even if we would normally be held vicariously liable for their actions, and that you must take legal action against them directly should they commit any tort or other actionable wrong against you.

Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, you authorize us to collect, share, store, and otherwise use your information in conjunction with Google Analytics.

9. Release of Your Information for Legal Purposes

At times it may become necessary or desirable to ScratchBang, for legal purposes, to release your information in response to a request from a government agency (often known colloquially as “the po-po”) or a private litigant. You agree that we may disclose your information to a third party where we believe, in good faith, that it is desirable to do so for the purposes of a civil action, criminal investigation, or other legal matter. In the event that we receive a subpoena affecting your privacy, we may elect to notify you to give you an opportunity to file a motion to quash the subpoena, or we may attempt to quash it ourselves, but we are not obligated to do either. We may also proactively report you, and release your information to, third parties where we believe that it is prudent to do so for legal reasons, such as our belief that you have engaged in fraudulent activities. You release us from any damages that may arise from or relate to the release of your information to a request from law enforcement agencies or private litigants, including but not limited to excessive 4 a.m. no-knock SWAT team raids on your house that occur because you did something silly like post a picture of a joint online. God bless America.

10. Commercial and Non-Commercial Communications

By providing information to the Site that forms the basis of communications with you, such as contact information, you waive all rights to file complaints concerning unsolicited e-mails from ScratchBang since, by providing such information, you agree to receive communications from us or anyone else covered under this Privacy Policy. However, you may unsubscribe from certain communications by notifying ScratchBang that you no longer wish to receive solicitations or information and we will endeavor to remove you from the database. We promise not to use this clause to send you spam that asks you to buy fake Viagra. If anything, we’ll send spam that markets real Viagra.

11. Security Measures

We take certain measures to enhance the security of our Site and Service, including using SSL certificates and chaining rabid snapping turtles to our server hardware. However, we make no representations as to the security or privacy of your information. It is in our interest to keep our website secure, but we recommend that you use anti-virus software, firewalls, and other precautions to protect yourself from security threats.

12. Your California Privacy Rights

ScratchBang permits residents of California (who are total surfer hippies) to use its Service. Therefore, it is the intent of ScratchBang to comply with the California Business and Professions Code §§ 22575-22579. If you are a California resident you may request certain information regarding our disclosure of personal information to any third parties for their direct marketing purposes. Various provisions throughout this Privacy Policy address requirements of the Californian privacy statutes. In summary, you must presume that we collect electronic information from all visitors. You may contact us at with any questions.

13. International Transfer

Your information may be transferred to—and maintained on—computers located outside of your state, province, country, planet, galaxy, or other governmental jurisdiction where the privacy laws may not be as protective as those in your jurisdiction. If you are located outside the United States and choose to provide information to us, ScratchBang transfers Personal Information to the United States and processes it there. Your consent to this Privacy Policy followed by your submission of such information represents your agreement to that transfer.

14. Amendments

We may amend this Privacy Policy from time to time. When we amend this Privacy Policy, we will update this page accordingly and e-mail you to inform you that there has been a change. Your continued use of our Service shall constitute your acceptance of any such changes. We won’t add any new clauses that let us have all of your most embarrassing medical records from that wild summer you had in college, but you should still read the updates to be sure you consent to them.

Last Modified: February 6, 2015